Episode 8: Twist In Recipes:Taste
Buds In Hell!!!!!
The
recent spotlight to the culinary industry; all thanks to masterchef programmes
and ALL FOOD CHANNELS, have got not only the eyeballs rolling but the taste
buds rolling too. It seems like hell just broke loose when the chefs decided to
put “the twist tag” on almost all the dishes, even the classics. No food recipe
is respected or presented by these self proclaimed food connoisseurs in its
original glory. The word TWIST never felt so exploited and twisted ever before
in history. So what is this twisted tale all about?
Just
like every person’s dished out food has
a unique taste no matter how many
people cook the same recipe, similarly a little more salt, a little less pepper
or maybe lots of cumin is what one likes and the other hates. Hence the birth
of changing recipes a tad bit to one’s own liking. But what has happened in the
2017 ultra glam time is, just in order to make the dish exclusive to oneself people
are unnecessarily adding their twists, which by no means enhance the cuisine aesthetically
or taste-wise. And the most funny part is that whether you are a Michelin chef
or a home chef or a wanna be chef or TV chef or no chef at all, it has plagued
everyone who wants to smoke their chimneys. Before I go any further I want to
cite examples or what the tornado has been caused because of TWIST AND SHIFT IN
SENSIBILITIES OF THESE CHEFS far and wide.
 |
| CHEFS THESE DAYS |
Let’s
talk about the populace that calls itself executive and five start chefs
presenting TV shows and judging esteemed reality cooking shows during
primetime.
n
This great chef decided to bring in Gujarat and his roots
when making a cake. Now I do understand the sweet tooth that Gujjus have, being
all their savoury dishes having that overpowering sweet hint in all. But Boy
oh! Boy he just took it to the moon. This intelligent chef incorporated all the
Guajarati sweets including gulabjamuns and rasgullas and sandesh and milkcake
and rasmalai and I guess the entire sweet market. So the cake that was dished
out of his kitchen counter looked something like this. A sponge cake cut into
thin layers and each layer having a spread of sliced gulabjamuns and rasgullas,
then a layer of cake again, topped with milkcake and rasmalai, finally ending
the last layer with small coconut rasgullas and sandesh. Cover the entire cake
with sweet butter frosting and decorating it with malpuas dripping sugar syrup.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now that’s not a WOW!! ...WOW!! And I am
sure my readers know what I mean. Like WOOOOOOOOW???????? And What?
That’s
my twist on the regular cake the Desi way. Now if you are presenting that to
me, let me put on my running shoes because I just want to run away from this
sweet poison which is not even tasty dude!
n
These kinds of ladies who claim themselves to be chefs
highly irritate me. And I will tell you why? Either call yourself a home cook or if you have just learnt to
present the dish on TV because of your
pretty face then act the face only, not the food, ladies.
 |
| COOK ME PROPERLY PLEASE |
Quiet a number of
actresses or tv actresses are showcasing themselves as chefs while the basic
commonsense of cooking is totally MIA. One such Tv actress made a recipe of
steamed sandwich which she called her twist on the regular sandwich. The recipe
goes like this: take 2 loaves of brownbread and then film them thinly with
butter and stuff them with cucumber and tomatoes and finally put that DAMN
thing! In the steamer like you making MOMO’s for 15 minutes. OUCH! And the
results were disastrous which were so evident instantly when she took a bite of
that twisted soggy mess in front of the camera. Hehehehehhehehe :D
n
This chef surely deserves the name recognition because he
considers himself to be a big shot and he is none other than chef ajay chopra. Two
of his terrible recipes that he presented on TV are here. Give
it your ears people!!!
1.
Banoffee pie, many people know it and if you don’t, not a
problem just google the recipe and watch it for 5 minutes but make sure you
watch Ajay chopra making it first or else you would not know the difference. So
basically the sweetness that comes in this recipe is from dulche de leche. Since
this is quiet sweet itself, no other sweet element is needed. But ...but......you
want to spank his brainless butt for making sweet HELL in a bowl. He not only
uses sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
many sweet elements like condensed milk, sugar, banana compote laced in sugar
syrup and butter, glucose and above all the caramelised sugar which hardens
because of his idiocy and lack of skills he adds gallons of butter to liquefy
it. My words would not really do the
justice unless you see it for yourself, so here is the video where ajay chopra
proudly prepares his stupidity. Have a look.
2. Another classic fiasco by
Chef Ajay Chopra is the MOONG DAL HALWA. Now this delicacy has been eaten by
almost everyone of us and especially winter time and moong dal halwa is a
classic buy. And because we have eaten it so many times we do know what it
looks and feels like. Even for those who haven’t yet had a taste of this Indian
sweet, I recommend you eating it this winter or if you just want to see the authentic
moon dal halwa, you can type in google and you will get a first hand visual of
what it looks like. Its then I would suggest you to come back and watch this.
since
these classic recipes are nowhere to their classic nature I count them into the
twist that these chefs put in. Are his twists really worth your taste and
HEALTH? Ask yourself.
 |
| Icing Sugar On GulabJamuns |
n
This one is my favourite. It’s not just one chef but many
who should be arrested for being so mindless to put icing sugar or dusting
icing sugar over the already sweet Indian Treats. The logic behind dusting
icing sugar over their sweet treats i.e. the foreign sweets is because they
constitute mild sweetness and are partially dry like, pancakes, crème Brule(used
for aesthetics), or brownies or ginger bread etc. But give me one good reason
to dust icing sugar over a malpua which is already drenched in sugar syrup? Makes
sense? To me....NO.
 |
| The Authentic Shahi Tukda |
n
The most typical and oldest recipe of shahi tukda is known
for the lavishness, richness and juiciness it derives from the rabri that just melts
into your mouth leaving behind the creaminess and satisfied senses. Since this
is the delicacy of the NAWABS, it was supposed to be made and served that way. Now
many of you might tell me, you got to change with the times, I do agree in all
sanity, we have to.
 |
| Shahi Tukda Canopy Twist |
But dissection of this sweet dish into fried bread canopy
with a spit of milk and raspberry coulis cannot and by no means termed as a
twist on the SHAHI TUKDA.
As a result of this twist madness among the chefs completely
ignoring the authenticity and taste of the dish has mutated the minds and the
taste buds of the viewers and wanna be cooks. If you can serve me a dish that might not look
like the original but retains at least 70% of the actual recipe I won’t mind relishing
it. But please keep your logic less and tasteless cerebrums out of my plate because
when it’s time for FOOD I want to eat real and meaningful and tasty food and
NOT YOUR EWE! EXPERIMENT FOR THE SAKE OF “TWIST”.
The number of examples that I can cite from foodshows and
real life etc are countless. But to give you the idea of what is actually
happening as opposed to what actually should happen was necessary. So the next
time you go in the kitchen to cook, make sure you forget the superfluous twist
saga and make something flavoursome and nice and if then you can incorporate
your TWIST which sits amazingly with the whole experience, then you will find
me applauding you from your roof top. J
PRECAP: Episode 9- STYLE AND THE CITY, When Fashion Goes
CHAVANI......
Designer wear, smoking hot models and starry fashion shows,
glittered faces but yet the designer and his designs makes you ask, why did I
spend one hour of my life watching him/her when they had to create EPIC mess on
this TV show. Fashion Up your read with this episode of The Critical
Eye.......Coming Sooon......!!!!!!
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